No Further Posts on This Blog

All of my writing will now be consolidated at my main website:

Ian Essling and Conservative Rumblings/Ian Essling Blog

Enjoy!

Pancake Man Strikes Again!

Response to Opinion article titled,
"Terrorists Attack California Post Office"
Published in the September 2006 issue of Waubonsee Insight.

These guys just don't get it; I antagonize and poke them about the comments that they made on me, and instead of backing off, they try to throw most insults. Oh well, more fodder for the wall!

Joe said...
Why do you do it? I mean, plagarizing half-baked stories from your Neo-Con blogger circle jerk and then passing them off as news?

But thanks for the free rhetoric lesson, Bubba. Next time can we get a free tutorial on making crap political statements with hacked copies of Photoshop?

In the meantime, we're glad to know we're an inspiration to you.

Poor Mr. Joe seems to have a hard time understanding the difference between "Opinion" and "News" pages.

Apparently, I Bring Out the Best in People

Response to my very existence

A spectacular random Myspace message I got. From what I can tell, this guy never read a thing I wrote, but instead was set off by my Myspace avatar, which, at the time, was this.

there you go. just ignore the problem and it'll go away. not this time, fuck-head. your party is a pack of idiots,and i don't care where you've been or will be educated; your entire existence is a farce, friend. you and your entire regime. and i'll show it to you; rub the feces of your own ignorance right into the nases your anti-democratic nose like you're the dumb-assed dog that you pretend to be. and because i am the blue collar fellow i am. you'd be nowhere without us. we worked, and do work to make this country; and we want it back ........ fuck you, you worthless piece of fascist shit. yeah, that's right, fuck you ........

- ice

Pancake Man Takes a Swing...and Slips in A Puddle of Syrup

Response to Opinion article titled,
"Terrorists Attack California Post Office"
Published in the September 2006 issue of Waubonsee Insight.

It's funny enough when someone writes something crazy and deranged and sends it in to the paper as a Letter to the Editor. But then, the farther removed from that medium you get, the funnier it gets. A MySpace post ranting about me was pretty much the most entertaining thing I had found, until a colleague forwarded me the link of two poor people who were attacking me on, of all things, a blog about pancakes.

Thus, the Pancake Man was born. Enjoy as much as I did.

It's just hard to wade through the painful editorial rhetoric found in the Waubonsee Community College Insight, penned primarily by one faithful student of the Rush Limbaugh/Michael Savage school of balanced, empathetic journalism, who was somehow appointed to the position of editor in chief. So finding the restaurant review means sifting through not just page-length tirades on illegal immigrants and liberals, but also self-congratulatory reminders of how his controversial "freedom fries" article really got everyone talking last fall. Thankfully, the restaurant review was left to a different student, but her description of it still seemed a bit embellished.

Ironically, the review of the restaurant was BEFORE the Opinion section, so his comment about having to "wade through" my article is so stupid it makes the entire piece in and of itself. The rest is just icing on the cake of ignorance.

Stately Actions by a President

Response to Opinion article titled,
"?Quiere papas fritas tambien? No Thanks!!!"
Published in the October issue of Waubonsee Insight.

The BEST part about these excerpts, which are taken from a much longer (but equally stupid) letter to the editor, is that the writer is the President of the Waubonsee Chapter of Phi Theta Kappa, the "International Honor Society of the Two Year College." No further comment needed.

Tammy Caltagirone (email removed) wrote:
Let’s examine of a couple of recent articles. I would like to begin with Ian Essling’s article published last fall entitled “Quiere papas fritas tambien?”

Hate to tell you, but writing a response a year after it was published does not allow you to call the article "recent."

Tammy Caltagirone (email removed) wrote:
Although Mr. Essling isn’t alone in his arrogance and intolerance of immigrants and foreign language, he has sown seeds of hate and distrust creating a flagrant “us/we” versus “them” attitude at Insight.

I've "sown seeds of hate?" That's a new one! Thank you, Tammy, for being original and using a slur that no one has ever used on me before!

Full text of letter

"i call it a to say that you are a racist" and Other Fine Phrases

Response to Opinion article titled,
"?Quiere papas fritas tambien? No Thanks!!!"
Published in the October issue of Waubonsee Insight.

I love this letter; hysterical use of explicatives, a lot of stupidity, and a fair dose of terrible writing. Emphasis added to my favorite parts, of course.

Desiree Moreno (desi0625@yahoo.com) wrote:
Ian,
As an mexican american i am very offended by your
editorial in the paper this month. You may call what
you wrote an "opinion" i call it a to say that you are
a racist. Your opinions are very ignorant to society,
and a discrace to the Waubonsee school it self. This
makes me very angrey to actually do harm to an
individual, but since i know that just because one man
is a dumb ass there is no need to do such actions. I
know that you say that these latinos should be able to
speek english in this country to works. Have you ever
tried to learn another language at the age of
adolecents? Have you ever tried to think of how they
already know that it is going to be hard for them to
function in a place that is mainly an english
community? From the words in your paper you probably
did not. They people are here to try to make a living.
They are here to try and better themselves not to
mention raise a family. These people come and work in
these fast food places for low pay. Would you work at
mc donalds for a living for 5 dollars and hour? No,
you probably wouldnt. That is why these employers hire
these non speaking people so that they dont have to
pay someone any higher in wage. If i wasnt for these
low paying non speaking english people we would
probably not have the prices we do such as the dollar
menu. Latinos are taking over kid get used to it. Not
just in our fast food resturants but every where. Take
a look around you dumb fucker. Even schools are aware
of this and in elementary school they start to teach
them spanish. Its asham that this coutry the home of
the brave and the free could have citizens so set on
"this is our country learn english". It you want to
get technocal with things are you indian? this was
the land of the indians none of us can speak the
language of the tribes first here. Not to mention this
country is also called the melting pot. There are
people here from every where. I know, i know what you
wanna say " im not racist" but you are and you may
not say it but papi i can read between the lines and
you dont have to say no more. I just wanted to let you
know how much of an asshole you sounded in your
article and i hope you get yours. sorry about this but
its my "opinion" feel free to write back pendejo.

Death Threats and...Vandalism?

Response to Opinion article titled,
"?Quiere papas fritas tambien? No Thanks!!!"
Published in the October issue of Waubonsee Insight.

Well, I can officially say that my article has made the rounds. Today I got a pair of death threats from two overbearing thugs that marched into the Insight office early in the morning. Of course, I wasn't even on campus yet, but they informed the staffer in the room that they were looking for "This essling guy that wrote this" and that they were "going to kick his ass and kill him. Just shoot and kill him."

Since I was nowhere to be found, apparently they (or someone else who was upset with me) settled for vandalism, if you can call it that. My gas cap was stolen from my truck, and my Bush/Cheney 2004 bumper sticker was written on. Oooh..I'm shaking in my boots!

Do people honestly think stuff like this is going to deter me from writing? A pair of death threats that the guys couldn't even say to my face and a STOLEN GAS CAP??? Oh no, time to hang it up and quit; this is getting too tense for me.

Please...the pen always has been and always will be mightier than the sword.

A Name Change For Me?

Response to Opinion article titled,
"?Quiere papas fritas tambien? No Thanks!!!"
Published in the October issue of Waubonsee Insight.

I hate to tell this person, but my name isn't Ivan. On top of that, she didn't "apapreciate" (sic) the honest feedback I gave her. She gets an A for effort, at least.

Crystal Morris (twinkles1129@yahoo.com) wrote:
This type of garbage that is being written makes me think what kind of racist person Ivan Essling really is? Please feel free to respond to my email I would apapreciate a feedback.